I have been fortunate this entire year. No major airport delays, no lost luggage, no real issues to complain about. Because I travel so much during the year I look at George Clooney’s movie character, Ryan Bingham and think, you make it look too easy. And, in real life, it could be a royal pain in the ass. Yesterday was…a royal pain in the ass.
The day began with Maxine drawing the short straw at Tampa International Airport. Her carry on bag was selected for rummaging and to say it was a pleasant experience would be way off target. TSA agents are basically rent-a-cops with all the bed side manner of a proctologist…she had to re-pack everything in her bag. That was the bad news. The good news, we could continue without Maxine being labeled a terrorist and detained.
I knew from reading weather reports the weather would be rough between Tampa and Atlanta and then flying through a cold front from Atlanta to Dallas so I suggested we not rely on the flight attendants for anything to eat or drink as they most likely would be strapped into their seats like the rest of us. We purchased some really delicious and nutritious sandwiches and drinks to carry onto the plane. Both of us were hungry so we to eat before boarding, or at least we tried to. Maxine tossed her sandwich out because it was simply gross and went for something else before we boarded. Can’t win them all, right?
I was right about the rough flights. And for anyone that does not fully understand the Delta/Northwest merger, while all the airplanes are now painted with Delta name, the routes, crews and flight equipment stayed “segregated”. The unionized NW crews are rude and their planes are falling apart. We drew the short straw on both flights this week. The Detroit former NW flight attendants were lazy, uncaring and in some cases just rude. I just read yesterday all Delta and NW flight attendants just voted whether to go union system wide or non-union system wide. They voted to go non-union, which may have had something to do with the attitudes we encountered. And when I say their equipment is falling apart, so many passengers expressed concern about a missing piece of the right wing assembly the Captain got on the address system to comment, assuring us it was not an important piece of the airplane and not to worry. Oh, yeah? Then why was it there in the first place?
When we arrived in Dallas and went to the luggage area, Maxine became aware and simultaneously alarmed at the fact her BlackBerry was “missing”. She had checked messages after we landed but no longer had it in her possession. She went to the Delta Luggage Manager for advice. He provided her with a security pass which would get her through security without a boarding pass so she could go back to the gate where we landed. I continued to wait for our luggage to arrive.
I was still waiting for our luggage when Maxine returned with her BlackBerry. It was being held at the gate by a Delta employee. Smiles all around.
Our connection in Atlanta was very tight due to weather and being delayed from Tampa. We made the connection but our luggage did not, although we did not know that yet. After waiting a respectable amount of time at the luggage belt in Dallas I also met with the Delta Luggage Manager who, after checking for our luggage in his magic computer told us our luggage was on the next flight from Atlanta. Bad news. The good news was, it was only a 90 minute or so delay. So, in thinking about our options about picking up our rental car and then parking it somewhere or staying in the airport and maybe grabbing a bite to eat (it was between 5:30pm and 6:00pm Central and I was getting hungry) I made the decision we should have dinner while waiting for our luggage.
But there are no restaurants on the outside area of the Dallas gates. To find a restaurant one must go through security. So, I asked the Delta Luggage Manager how we could get back into the to where the restaurants were located. He provided a second security pass for Maxine and one for me. Good plan, good news.
To be safe, though, I called the local Hertz office, located at the Dallas Airport, to advise them of our delay. I spoke with a real person at the office who told me, “No worries”. Delays of two or three hours have never created a problem for me at Hertz in the past so I was certain the car would be waiting for me anyway. Good news.
We went through Dallas Airport security and found only a Taco Bell, hot dog joint and one other forgettable fast food place. I then found and asked a Delta gate agent if those were our only options. She pointed down the hall and suggested we try TGI Friday’s. Things were looking up. More good news. When we arrived at Friday’s we were met by a hostess that was chewing gum, wore her hair in pig tails and welcomed us “guys”. When seated we were advised, over the loud rap music being played in the restaurant, they closed at 7pm. Really? “Yeah”, our waiter told us, “Everything closes at 7pm.”. Bad news? OK then, we made quick choices and commenced to have dinner while listening to rock music so loud we could not hear each other.
We completed our dinner as they were closing. Since airports don’t get repeat customers, we were not treated as such. No checking on the how the food was, nothing was said by our waiter other than “Here’s the bill”. Nor worthy of even bad news, just poor customer service. A theme becoming more common as our day wore on.
We got back to the luggage area to find our luggage waiting for us. Once again, good news and smiles all around. We thanked our new friend, the Delta Luggage Manager and began searching for a bus to take us to where the rental cars are kept. We were struck by the fact that an airport this large had so few flyers and fewer employees. The wait for a bus was about 20 minutes. It was starting to get late and we were both tired and irritable. Bad news.
The bus arrived to take us to the central rental car building. Good news. However, to say the bus needed shock absorbers is an understatement. I am blessed with good teeth. I still have them all and until last night, four fillings. I am not sure how many were left on the bus along with my kidneys. That was really bad news.
Upon arriving at the car rental building I found the Delta area and went directly to the Gold Number #1 Member board, only to notice my name was not on it. Bad news. So, we went back inside to the desk and got line with several other people who were already unhappy at the fact only one desk clerk was working the counter. The lady in first placed said she had been there 20 minutes and could not get waited on. More bad news. At that point a very large well dressed businessman spoke up and asked the Hertz guy behind the counter why we had to wait so long. His response was to point to a corner office about 100 yards away and say “Go see the manager”. I could not believe it. Neither could the large well dressed businessman. He took off like a rocket to the manager’s office, opened the door and started yelling, pointing to the desk, and, us. Then as he came back to us I noticed the manager got up and came out of his office too. Good news? I asked the businessman if he was coming to our aid. “Nope”, replied my new friend, “He is going to look for help.” “What?”, I asked…”Why the hell doesn’t he come to the damn desk?”
The bad news was beginning to pile up. So, I yelled at the guy behind the counter, requesting he find some assistance as even more people were lining up behind us. “Are you Gold?” he asked. I told him I was. “Then you go to the counter behind the Gold Number #1 Member board for help” he replied.” Huh? I had not seen that. So, off we went in search of the office where I would get help. This had to be good news.
We found the office, with a line and…are you ready, one guy behind the counter. Bad news. Do you know what is worse than someone being rude? Someone who won’t speak or answer questions. This was clearly an understaffed location and I was looking at a man who was working under a great deal of stress and pressure. But, I was still angry and tired too. My patience, what little was left, was wearing thin.
Finally, when it was my time to the one agent on duty behind the counter, I asked him why my name was not on the board. He asked for my name and checked his computer. “Your name was taken down and the car was put back into the system because you were late”, he told me. Oh, yeah – my call did a lot of good. The fuse which was so close to an open flame for the past few hours got lit. I lost it. I will skip what I said, etc., and simply say, after another 45 minutes, at my request, the “manager” came out to see me. About 15 more minutes and we had a car, at no cost, courtesy of Hertz.
We got to our hotel about four hours after landing at the airport. The hotel itself is beautiful, modern and very comfortable. The staff incredibly nice. Especially when because of a minor glitch they could not find my reservation (more bad news?). Actually, I had made an error in setting up the reservation and we were able to correct the problem in about five minutes. Great news!
But this would not be a complete day’s story without the perfect ending to very bad day. As we were unpacking, I noticed a note on the desk with a Dear Guest message and a graphic that looked like a bug on it. My first thought was, “Oh, no, they have a bed bug infestation.” Bad news? Wrong. The card read “You may see me during your stay here and I wanted t take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Bert the Water Beetle. I frequent Texas this time of year, trying to soak up the warm sunshine.” The card went on to say how to deal with any beetles if we encountered them and that they are basically harmless. I chose to turn the card over and not show it to Maxine.
It was the end of our day and time to prepare for bed. Maxine was in the bathroom and I turned on a lamp in the bedroom. To my shock, on the wall above the lamp, sat a wasp. Bad news! I read a quote from Ross Perot once, when he was running for President. Perot said, “I see a snake on the factor floor and I kill it.” That thought went through my mind in the nanosecond it took me to pick up the first thing I could grab, which was a hotel notepad, and swat the damn thing. It fell in pieces to the floor. Good news!
This mini-diary was not meant to be a gripe session. Many every day travelers experience many of the unfortunate events we encountered yesterday. But, this is not my normal travel day and certainly to have this occur at every turn by anyone would not be anything close to “normal”.
Today, we are spending the day with our daughter, Sharon and her husband, Dave, the purpose of the trip. Today’s reunion after not having seen each other for over two years more than makes up for yesterday…Good News!
